Stop Fighting about Money!
Six tools to help you have healthy conversations with your partner about finances and the economy.
Feeling stressed, worried, or nervous that the current economy is starting to impact your relationship health? Are you fighting more often about your finances these days and it just makes want to scream?
It is normal for couples to argue. Poor communication and different communication styles are not the reason arguments spiral out of control. It is the way couples talk to each other that matters. For instance, when you try to talk about the finances with your partner, does it turn into a full-blown fight where one or both of you are criticizing each other, attacking one another, getting defensive, making condescending remarks, rolling your eyes, or tuning each other out? Ultimately, leaving you upset, frustrated, and angry with no resolution in sight.
Here are six tools to take a healthy “we approach” when discussing finances with your partner:
1. Make a Plan – Next time you want to talk to your partner about the finances, decide together when to talk about them. No one wants to get blind-sided, so let your partner know the areas you want to focus on and give them the opportunity to do the same.
2. Give 100% Attention – When your discussion starts, give your partner all your attention. This means stop what you are doing, turn towards them, look at them, acknowledge that you are listening through verbal and non-verbal communication, and be empathic.
3. Explore Together – Typically, couples have different perspectives, beliefs, and desires when it comes to their connection with money. Explore these differences. Ask questions until you understand your partner’s view about money.
4. Take a Break – When you are at a crossroad with an issue and it gets heated, agree to take a 20–30-minute break to calm down. Before you restart your discussion check in with each other to make sure both of you are calm.
5. Prioritize Goals – When discussing financial goals, be positive, collaborative, and creative.
6. Take Responsibility – Finally, accountability goes a long way.
If you follow these suggestions, chances are you will see an improvement in your conversations about it.
Don't let relationship issues hold you back any longer.
Contact me today to schedule a free 15- phone consultation and start your journey to a better relationship.
I offer therapy services to individuals and couples in the state of Arizona. If you do not reside in Arizona, go to Psychology Today to find a therapist in your area.
